Clean Jokes

Joke: A pregnant woman wants her child to have very good manners. Every night while she's going to bed she rubs her stomach and says, "Be kind, be kind."

Nine months comes and goes and she doesn't have the baby. She refuses to have doctors look at her because it is against her believes. She dies at the age of 70 and still hasn't given birth. The mystery is solved when doctors inspect her. Inside of her womb they find two little men saying to each other "No brother, after you."

Joke: A guy is in a car accident and he breaks both of his legs. He calls the police and they ask him what street he is on and he says "I'm on Schlepsentle Road."

The officer says "Can you spell that sir?"

The man thinks for a while and answers "I'll crawl over to Oak."

Joke: Why do dragons hate birthdays?

Joke: A man gave his wife super glue instead of chap stick.

She still isn't talking to him.

Joke: Why can't toilet paper go down the sidewalk?