Clean Jokes

Joke: Lawyer: "Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?"

Client: "After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I'm beginning to think I didn't."

Joke: A man got his house painted. When the painters were done they handed him the bill. He was surprised to find that the painters were not charging him for paint, just labor. He asked them, "You did a great job, why didn't you charge me for paint?"

The painter replies, "Don't worry about the paint, it's on the house."

Joke: A 17-year-old girl was mad at her dad because he always treated her like she was a little girl.

He gave her a gold star for standing up for herself.

Joke: What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?

Joke: A kid was in the hospital because he ate six plastic horses. The doctor described his condition as stable.