Clean Jokes

Joke: A Jewish man is riding the train reading an Arab newspaper. His friend happens to also be on the train and confronts, "What are you doing reading that?!"

The man replies, "I got sick of the Jewish newspapers. All I ever read about was Jes living in poor conditions, Israel getting attacked, and Jews being persecuted...

Now that I read the Arab newspaper we rule the world! We control the media, run the banks, and are all wealthy. That's much better news!"

Joke: What did the baby computer say when he saw his father?

Joke: Why is the freezer the best place to keep your money?

Joke: The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Joke: A barber, a bald man and an absent-minded professor take a journey together. They have to camp overnight, and so decide to take turns watching the luggage. When it's the barber's turn, he gets bored, so amuses himself by shaving the head of the professor. When the professor is woken up for his shift, he feels his head, and says "How stupid is that barber? He's woken up the bald man instead of me."