Clean Jokes

Joke: A man meets the best Bible salesman in the world. The salesman greets him, "Nuh, nuh, nuh, nice to meet you."

The man asks him, "If you don't mind me asking, what's your secret?"

The salesman replies, "It's suh, suh, suh, simple. I juh, juh, just go to the duh, duh, duh, door and suh, say, 'Duh, duh, duh, do you wuh, wuh, want to buh, buh, buh, buh, buy a bible? Or wuh, would you luh, luh, luh, like muh, me to ruh, ruh, ruh, ruh, read it to you?'"

Joke: A blonde, brunette and a red head are stuck on an island; but they see land in the distance and decide to swim to it.

The brunette swims 1/4 of the way but can't continue and decides to turn back.

The red head swims 1/3 of the way but can't continue and decides to turn back.

The blonde swims 1/2 of the way but decides she can't continue and swims back to the island.

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dewey!
Dewey who?
Dewey have time to drink some tea!?

Joke: A professor is about to give his final exam, "You must turn in your paper before 2 PM. I won't take it a second later."

2 PM comes and all of the students turn in their paper and the professor begins to walk to his office. One last student jumps up and approaches the professor, "I'm sorry I'm a few seconds late! You have to take my paper!"

The professor says, "Nope, I made it very clear-"

The student snaps at him, "Do you know who I am?"

He replies, "No I do not."

So the student grabs the stack of papers, puts his in the middle, and runs off.

Joke: Once upon a time, there were two boys named "trouble" and "none of your business". one day, they were playing hide and seek. trouble hid and none of your business seeked. a policeman came by and asked "what is your name?" to none of you business. he answered "none of your business". the police got angry and said "are you looking for trouble!?" none of your buisiness replied "Yes I sure am!"