Clean Jokes

Joke: 2 guys walk on to a bar.One guy says duck. The other guy hit the bar.

Joke: Patient: Doctor Doctor I feel like a pair of curtains. Doctor: Pull your self together.

Joke: A man and a woman is out and skate, when suddently a terrible accident happens the women falls down. The man looks shoocked and says: what happened to your hands? Her : nothing im fine. Him: pew thank God for a minute there i thought you broke our dishwasher.

Joke: The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, “Take only one. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

Joke: Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."