Clean Jokes

Joke: A new father is sitting down with his father for a drink. His dad tells him, "Now that you're a father yourself it's time I give you something."

He replies, "Dad, you're not talking about-."

His father interrupts, "Yes. It's time." With this he hands him a copy of '1000 Dad Jokes, 6th Edition' to his son.

He says with a tear in his eye, "Dad, I'm honored."

"Hi honored," his father replies, "I'm dad."

Joke: Three men are traveling though the dessert and they are very thirsty. They come to a mysterious water slide in the middle of the dessert that has instructions at the top: "Slide down and yell the drink of your choice and at the bottom you will find a pool of that beverage."

The three men are very excited. The first man slides down and yells "Milk!" He then falls into a pool of water.

The next man goes down and yells "Lemonade!" He falls into a pool full of it.

The final man goes down and overwhelmed with excitement he yells "Weeee!"

Joke: Why does nobody talk to pi?

Joke: A blonde started riding a horse. She jumped right on and the horse took off. She soon lost control and began flailing her arms around trying to regain control; she thought she was a goner for sure. If it wasn't for the Walmart greeter unplugging it who knows what could have happened.

Joke: A little elderly lady goes to the doctor because she has been having a problem. She tells him "Doctor, lately I have been farting almost constantly. They don't bother me much because they don't smell or make noise, but it is still annoying. I've farted a hundred times since I got here, I bet you didn't know."

The doctor sends her home with some pills and she returns a week later. Angrily she tells him "Doctor! These pills you gave me have made my gas smell terrible. I don't want to take them anymore!"

The doctor smiles and replies "Great. Now that we have cleared your sinuses we can take care of that hearing problem."