Chemistry Jokes

Joke: What's the difference between a politician and a chemist?

Joke: Girl, if I could rearrange the periodic table I would put uranium and iodine together.

Joke: A chemistry teacher told his student he had a lot of potential. Then he dropped him off of the roof.

Joke: A kid takes a chemistry test, but in order to pass the class he has to get a perfect score on the test. He studied hard, but when he gets it back he got 1 question wrong. The question was "How many valence electrons does hydrogen have?" In a rush he answered "2".

Depressed, he walks home. But as he is walking he kicks a random lamp. He picks up the lamp and suddenly a genie flies out of it. He says "I will grant you one wish!"

The kid replies "I wish got that question right," and the universe explodes.

Joke: A physicist, a chemist, and a statistician are called into the dean's office at a university. But the dean is called out of the office leaving the three researchers by themselves. Suddenly, a fire ignites in the wastepaper basket.

The physicist quickly says "I got this. All we have to do is lower the temperature of the material until it is below the ignition temperature."

The Chemist says "No, I've got a better idea. Lets take away the fire's oxygen supply so it doesn't have one of its reactants."

As they are arguing the statistician starts running around the room setting everything on fire. The other men yell at him "What are you doing?!"

He replies "I'm just trying to get an adequate sample size."