Blonde Jokes

 

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Joke: A blonde woman was going through a very difficult time in her life. She lost her job, her family, and all of her money. With nothing left to do, she decided to pray, "God, please let me win the lottery. I've lost everything." But the lottery came and she didn't win.

She prayed once again, "God, I know the chance of winning the lottery is low, but I need it. Please let me win." But once again the lottery came and went and she didn't win.

At this point she started to get angry with God, "Listen here God, I need to win the lottery. You owe me that much."

Suddenly light beams descend from the sky and God appears before her. She asks him, "God, why can't you just let me win?"

God shakes his head and said, "I'm doing everything I can. Could you meet me half way and actually buy a ticket?."


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57 ratings
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Joke: Three blondes come to a river but can't figure out how to get across. One blonde says, "God, make me a fish so I can swim across the river." So she becomes a fish and swims across the river.

The next blonde woman says, "God, give me a canoe so I can make it across this river." A canoe pops up in the river and she makes it across.

The final blonde says, "God, make me smarter so I can make it across." Poof! She turns into a man and crosses the bridge.


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Joke: What do you call a blonde on a college campus?


Punch line: A visitor.


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Joke: A boss finds one of his blonde employees crying in her cubicle. He asks her what's wrong and she tells him, "My mom died!"

He tells her, "I'm sorry, you should take the rest of the day off to be with your family."

The blonde replies, "But that's not even the worse thing that happened... My sister just called, and her mom died too!"


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17 ratings
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Joke: A blonde, brunette, and red head are all talking about what their dreams were when they were kids. The brunette says, "I wanted to be a princess. I was so dumb."

The red head says, "I wanted to be a movie star. I was so crazy."

The blonde says, "I wanted to be the first person to travel around the sun, but I still haven't given up."

The brunette tells her, "If you came that close to the sun you would burn."

The blonde laughs at her, "That's why I would go at night!"


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