Blonde Jokes

Joke: A man goes on a date with a blonde woman. She asks him, "Do you have any kids?"

He tells her, "I have one that's under two."

The blonde replies, "I know I'm blonde, but I know how much one is."

Joke: Three men have been given life sentences and are allowed to bring one thing for fun. The first one brings a deck of cards. He says, "I brought these to pass the time when we're bored."

The second one brings a harmonica and says, "I brought this to cheer us up when we're down."

The final man, who happened to be blond, brought tampons. The other men ask him, "What the hell did you bring those for?"

He replies, "The back says you can swim, run, and play sports with these."

Joke: A blonde, brunette and a red head are stuck on an island; but they see land in the distance and decide to swim to it.

The brunette swims 1/4 of the way but can't continue and decides to turn back.

The red head swims 1/3 of the way but can't continue and decides to turn back.

The blonde swims 1/2 of the way but decides she can't continue and swims back to the island.

Joke: A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having their lunches. The blonde little girl says, "I'm sick of PB&J, we should all jump off the school tomorrow if we get it again tomorrow." The other girls agree.

The next day they all meet up on the roof of the school and open their lunch boxes to expose three PB&J sandwiches. So they all jump.

That night at the hospital the families of the girls are in the waiting room. The brunette and red headed girl's parents are crying, but the blonde girls parents are silent and confused. The other parents approach them and ask them why they are acting so strangely. The blonde mother responds, "I just don't understand. She makes her own lunch."

Joke: Two blondes are hanging out and one of them pulls out a make up mirror. She is stunned saying "There's a face in there. She looks so familiar."

Her friend grabs the mirror, looks in it, and says "You're such an idiot. That's me!"