jena
Jena


Author's Riddles

Know it all (medium)

By jena

Question: What are the cleverest bees?

Dropper (medium)

By jena

Question: What kind of bee drops things?

Sun & Balance (medium)

By jena

Question: What holds the sun up in the sky?

Animal slug (medium)

By jena

Question: What sort of animal is a slug?

By jena

Question: Where do snowmen go to dance?

By jena

Question: What is the strongest bird?

By jena

Question: How many balls of string would it take to reach the moon?

Dozing off (medium)

By jena

Question: What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?

Boat doctor (medium)

By jena

Question: Where does a boat go when it is sick?

Guess it (medium)

By jena

Question: What goes on and on and has an 'i' in the middle?

Keep out (medium)

By jena

Question: What room can you not go into?

By jena

Question: What kind of band can't play music?

Nap time (medium)

By jena

Question: Why did the drum take a nap?

Holes (medium)

By jena

Question: How are doughnuts and golf alike?

By jena

Question: Why don't honest people need beds?

Wild party (medium)

By jena

Question: Where do computers go to dance?

Heavyweight (medium)

By jena

Question: What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

By jena

Question: What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

Zzzzz (medium)

By jena

Question: Where do all the letters sleep?

By jena

Question: What kinds of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Lazybones (medium)

By jena

Question: What has legs but doesn't walk?

You're hot (medium)

By jena

Question: What is always hot in the refrigerator?

By jena

Question: When is a car not a car?

By jena

Question: What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

By jena

Question: What letter can you drink?

Best pal (medium)

By jena

Question: What did the calculator say to the Math student?

By jena

Question: Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was the biggest?

By jena

Question: What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

Great fall (medium)

By jena

Question: Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?

Water race (medium)

By jena

Question: Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

By jena

Question: What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

By jena

Question: Why was the calendar worried?

By jena

Question: What is the tallest building in the world?

Hear hear (medium)

By jena

Question: How do locomotives hear?

By jena

Question: What is at the end of everything?

Spaceman (medium)

By jena

Question: What do you call a crazy spaceman?

Space lover (medium)

By jena

Question: What is an astronaut's favorite key on the keyboard?

Leg parade (medium)

By jena

Question: What goes 99 thump, 99 thump, 99 thump?

Back to basic (medium)

By jena

Question: What do you call a fly without wings?

Math whiz (medium)

By jena

Question: What kind of math do Owls like?

By jena

Question: What do you call a sad bird?

Thief alert (medium)

By jena

Question: What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

Body pains (medium)

By jena

Question: What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

Puppy food (medium)

By jena

Question: What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Mini-me (medium)

By jena

Question: What has ears, like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

By jena

Question: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

By jena

Question: What do you call a snake with no clothes on?

By jena

Question: What kind of mouse does not eat, drink or even walk?

By jena

Question: What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Birthdays (medium)

By jena

Question: What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

Author's Jokes

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By jena

Joke: What did the confused bee say?


Punch line: To bee or not to bee.


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Joke: Can I have a hair-cut, please?


Punch line: Certainly, which one!?


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Joke: Why did cavemen draw pictures of hippopotamuses and rhinoceroses on their walls?


Punch line: Because they couldn't spell their names!


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Joke: What does "Maximum" mean?


Punch line: A very big mother!


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Joke: What is a "Minimum"?


Punch line: A very small mother!


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Joke: Do you know the time?


Punch line: No, we haven't met yet!


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Joke: How do you make milk shake?


Punch line: Give it a good scare!


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Joke: What kind of fish can't swim?


Punch line: The dead ones.


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Joke: Where does success come before work?


Punch line: In the dictionary!


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Joke: What is "out of bounds"?


Punch line: An exhausted kangaroo.


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Joke: Who invented fire?


Punch line: Some bright spark!


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Joke: Why do nutters eat biscuits?


Punch line: Because they're crackers!


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Joke: Did you hear the joke about the pencil?


Punch line: But it doesn't have any point.


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Joke: Why is a horse like a wedding?


Punch line: Because they both need a GROOM!!!


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Joke: What is the best hand to write with?


Punch line: Neither - it's best to write with a pen!


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Joke: What is heavier, a full moon or a half moon?


Punch line: The full moon because it's lighter!


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Joke: What do elves do after school?


Punch line: Gnomework.


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, you have to help me out!


Punch line: Certainly, which way did you come in?


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, can I have a second opinion?


Punch line: Of course, come back tomorrow!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, have you got something for a bad headache?


Punch line: Yes. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a mosquito.


Punch line: Go away, sucker!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a sheep.


Punch line: That's baaaaaaad!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm suffering from Deja Vu!


Punch line: Didn't I see you yesterday?


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses.


Punch line: Yes you do, Sir, this is a butchers!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee.


Punch line: Have you tried taking the spoon out?


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By jena

Joke: Why did a boy throw a clock out the window?


Punch line: To see time fly!


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Joke: What did the candle say to the other candle?


Punch line: I'm going out tonight.


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Joke: If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?


Punch line: Wet.


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By jena

Joke: Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?


Punch line: He had no patients.


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Joke: What did one flower say to the other flower?


Punch line: Hey, bud!


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Joke: Why did the tree go to the dentist?


Punch line: It needed a root canal.


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Joke: Why are kindergarten teachers so good?


Punch line: They make the little things count!


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Joke: Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?


Punch line: She was caught taking a brake!


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Joke: What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?


Punch line: No thank you, I'm stuffed!


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Joke: How did the butcher introduce his wife?


Punch line: Meet Patty!


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Joke: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?


Punch line: The dentist is taking me out tonight!


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By jena

Joke: What is worse than having one baby screaming?


Punch line: Two babies screaming!


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Joke: What does one bucket say to the other?


Punch line: I am feeling pale today!


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Joke: Why didn't the girl take the bus home?


Punch line: Because her parents would make her take it back.


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Joke: What did one wall say to the other?


Punch line: I'll meet you at the corner!


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Joke: Why is it not safe to sleep on trains?


Punch line: Because they run over sleepers.


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Joke: What did the light bulb say to its mother?


Punch line: I wuv you watts and watts.


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Joke: Why is tennis such a loud game?


Punch line: Because each players raises a racquet!


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Joke: Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?


Punch line: A guy who has never been hit by a dictionary!


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Joke: Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?


Punch line: Because there was no atmosphere.


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Joke: What did the alien say to the cat?


Punch line: Take me to your litter!


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Joke: Why don't monsters eat clowns?


Punch line: Because they taste funny.


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Joke: How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?


Punch line: When it's full!


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Joke: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and an elephant?


Punch line: Big holes all over Australia!


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Joke: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a witch?


Punch line: I don't know but she will need a very large broom!


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Joke: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a snake?


Punch line: A jump rope!


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Joke: What do you get when you cross a fly, a car, and a dog?


Punch line: A flying car-pet!


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Joke: What do you get when you cross a ghost and a cat?


Punch line: A scaredy cat!


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By jena

Joke: What's worse than a worm in your apple?


Punch line: Half a worm!


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Joke: I tried to catch some fog earlier.


Punch line: I mist.


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Joke: Why was the ant so confused?


Punch line: Because all his uncles were "ants"!


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By jena

Joke: What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?


Punch line: French Flies!


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By jena

Joke: What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?


Punch line: A centipede on its back!


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By jena

Joke: What letter can hurt you if it gets too close?


Punch line: Bee!


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By jena

Joke: Who comes to a picnic but is never invited?


Punch line: Ants!


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Joke: Why wouldn't they let the butterfly into the dance?


Punch line: Because it was a mothball!


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By jena

Joke: How do chickens get strong?


Punch line: Egg-cersize.


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By jena

Joke: What do you give a sick bird?


Punch line: Tweet-ment.


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Joke: Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?


Punch line: Because he was caught tweeting on a test!


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By jena

Joke: When should you buy a bird?


Punch line: When it's going cheep!


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By jena

Joke: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?


Punch line: I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit!


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By jena

Joke: Why do pandas like old movies?


Punch line: Because they are black and white!


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By jena

Joke: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?


Punch line: Is that you Mummy?


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Joke: What do camels use to hide themselves?


Punch line: Camel-flauge!


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Joke: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?


Punch line: The chicken wasn't around yet.


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By jena

Joke: What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?


Punch line: Use a pen!


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By jena

Joke: What do you give a pig with a rash?


Punch line: Oinkment!


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By jena

Joke: Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?


Punch line: Because his feet stink!


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Joke: Where are sharks from?


Punch line: Finland!


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Joke: Where does a ten ton elephant sit?


Punch line: Anywhere it wants to!


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Joke: What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?


Punch line: Time to get a new bed!


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Joke: How do you keep a skunk from smelling?


Punch line: Plug its nose!


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Joke: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?


Punch line: A phew!


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Joke: Why did the elephant leave the circus?


Punch line: He was tired of working for peanuts.


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Joke: Customer: Do you have alligator shoes?


Punch line: Store person: Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?


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Joke: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?


Punch line: With a cow-culator.


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Joke: What kind of cat should you never play games with?


Punch line: A cheetah!


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Joke: What did one cow say to the other?


Punch line: Moooooove over!


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Joke: How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?


Punch line: Take away his shovel.


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Joke: What do you call a cow in a tornado?


Punch line: A milkshake!


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Joke: What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?


Punch line: Me-OW!


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Joke: What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?


Punch line: A cow walking backwards.


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Joke: How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?


Punch line: Squeaky clean!


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Joke: Why did the lamb cross the road?


Punch line: To get to the baaaaarber shop!


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Joke: Why does a dog wag its tail?


Punch line: Because no one else will wag it for him.


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Joke: How does a dog stop a video?


Punch line: He presses the paws button.


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Joke: Today I gave my dead batteries away...


Punch line: Free of charge.


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Joke: What is 8.65 x 41 + 8.6/72 x 945?


Punch line: A headache!


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Joke: Have you heard about the mathematical plant?


Punch line: It has square roots!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I feel like an apple.


Punch line: We must get to the core of this!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I'm a burglar!


Punch line: Have you taken anything for it?


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, what did the x-ray of my head show?


Punch line: Absolutely nothing!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a needle.


Punch line: I see your point!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing an insect spinning around.


Punch line: Don't worry; it's just a bug that's going around.


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing double. Doctor: Please sit on the couch.


Punch line: Which one?!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I've lost my memory. Doctor: When did this happen?


Punch line: When did what happen?


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog. Doctor: Sit on the couch and we will talk about it.


Punch line: But I'm not allowed up on the couch!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.


Punch line: Next please!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I'm becoming invisible.


Punch line: Yes I can see you're not all there!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I snore so loud I keep myself awake.


Punch line: Sleep in another room then!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, when I press with my finger here... it hurts, and here... it hurts, and here... and here... What do you think is wrong with me?


Punch line: You have a broken finger!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, everyone thinks I'm a liar.


Punch line: I don't believe that.


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.


Punch line: I'll deal with you later.


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.


Punch line: Don't talk rubbish!


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Joke: Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, I've got wind. Can you give me something?


Punch line: Yes - here's a kite!


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Joke: Doctor, doctor, doctor, you've got to help me. I just can't stop my hands from shaking. Doctor: Do you drink a lot?


Punch line: Not really - I spill most of it!


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By jena

Joke: What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?


Punch line: Time to fix the fence.


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Joke: Why don't dogs make good dancers?


Punch line: Because they have two left feet.


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Joke: Why do dogs run in circles?


Punch line: Because it is hard to run in squares.


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Joke: What did one flea say to the other?


Punch line: Should we walk or take a dog?


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Joke: It's been scientifically proven that too many birthdays...


Punch line: can kill you!


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Joke: What do goblins mail to friends from their holidays?


Punch line: Ghost-cards!


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Joke: Why don't witches ride their brooms when they are angry?


Punch line: They are afraid of flying off the handle!


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Joke: What is a ghost's favourite position playing soccer?


Punch line: Ghoul keeper!


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Joke: What happened when the young witch misbehaved?


Punch line: She was sent to her broom!


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Joke: What do you call a skeleton that rests all day?


Punch line: Lazy bones!


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Joke: What did the ghost say to the other ghost?


Punch line: Do you believe in humans?


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Joke: What did one owl say to the other owl?


Punch line: Happy Owl-ween!


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Joke: "Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."


Punch line: "Please be quiet and comb your face."


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Joke: Why is a skeleton so mean?


Punch line: He doesn't have a heart!


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Joke: Frankenstein: Witch can you make me lemonade?


Punch line: Witch: Poff! You are lemonade!


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Joke: Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?


Punch line: His "ghoul" friend!


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Joke: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?


Punch line: Because you can see right through them!


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Joke: Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?


Punch line: His heart wasn't in it.


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Joke: What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?


Punch line: Spelling!


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Joke: What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?


Punch line: Hope it is Halloween!


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Joke: What do ghosts eat for dinner?


Punch line: Spook-eti!


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Joke: What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?


Punch line: Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?


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Joke: What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?


Punch line: Every morning you'll rise and shine!


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Joke: why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?


Punch line: She stole his heart!


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Joke: What did the polite ghost say to her son?


Punch line: Don't spook until you're spooken to!


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By jena

Joke: Where do ghosts mail their letters?


Punch line: At the ghost office!


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By jena

Joke: What did the banana in the sun say to the other banana in the sun?


Punch line: I'm starting to peel!


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Joke: Why did the man get thrown out of the banana factory?


Punch line: Because he kept throwing the bent ones away!


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By jena

Joke: Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?


Punch line: Because he ran out of juice!


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By jena

Joke: What goes ha ha ha plonk?


Punch line: A skeleton laughing his head off!


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Joke: What did the hammer say to the piece of wood?


Punch line: We nailed it!


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Joke: What did the eye say to the other eye?


Punch line: Between you and me something smells!


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Joke: I had a dream I was a muffler.


Punch line: I woke up exhausted.


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Joke: What did the fly say when it flew into a window?


Punch line: If I had more guts, I'd do that again!


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By jena

Joke: Where does bad light go?


Punch line: To prism!


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By jena

Joke: Why do witches ride broomsticks?


Punch line: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!


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By jena

Joke: What did the lettuce say to the celery?


Punch line: Quit stalking me!


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Joke: What do fish call a submarine?


Punch line: A can of people!


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Joke: What did they say to the man who went for a job at the print shop?


Punch line: Sorry, you're not the right type!


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Joke: Want to hear a dirty joke? A kid jumped into a mud puddle.


Punch line: Want to hear a clean joke? A kid jumped into the bath.


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By jena

Joke: What did the nose say to the finger?


Punch line: Stop picking on me!


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Joke: I don't like my job as an origami teacher...


Punch line: Too much paperwork.


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Joke: When is the best time to go to the dentist?


Punch line: Tooth-hurty!


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Joke: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?


Punch line: Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?


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Joke: Why do birds fly south for the winter?


Punch line: It's easier than walking!


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By jena

Joke: How do you communicate with a fish?


Punch line: Drop him a line!


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By jena

Joke: Why is Basketball such a messy sport?


Punch line: Because you dribble on the floor!


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By jena

Joke: Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?


Punch line: She couldn't control her pupils!


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Joke: What did the judge say to the dentist?


Punch line: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth!


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Joke: Why did the robber take a bath?


Punch line: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway!


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Joke: Why don't skeletons fight each other?


Punch line: They don't have the guts!


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Joke: Why was the Egyptian girl worried?


Punch line: Because her Daddy was a Mummy!


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Joke: Why did the tomato turn red?


Punch line: It saw the salad dressing!


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Joke: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?


Punch line: I think I'm coming down with something!


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Joke: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?


Punch line: Because he was sitting on the deck!


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Joke: What do prisoners use to call each other?


Punch line: Cell phones!


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Joke: Why are pirates called pirates?


Punch line: Because they arrrrr.


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Joke: What ended in 1895?


Punch line: 1894!


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Joke: What did the alien say to the garden?


Punch line: Take me to your weeder!


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Joke: Why do fish live in saltwater?


Punch line: Because pepper makes them sneeze!


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Joke: Why did the computer go to the doctor?


Punch line: Because it had a virus!


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Joke: What do you call a baby monkey?


Punch line: A chimp off the old block!


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Joke: Why did the picture go to jail?


Punch line: Because it was framed!


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Joke: What fruit teases you a lot?


Punch line: A Ba na..na..na..na..na!


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Joke: What did the pencil say to the other pencil?


Punch line: You're looking sharp!


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Joke: What did the stamp say to the envelope?


Punch line: Stick with me and we will go places!


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By jena

Joke: In what school do you learn how to greet people?


Punch line: Hi school.


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Joke: What did the inventor of the door knocker win?


Punch line: The no-bell prize.


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Joke: What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?


Punch line: They are both rolling in the dough!


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Joke: Why can’t a bicycle stand up?


Punch line: Because it’s two-tired!


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Joke: Which side of a chicken has more feathers?


Punch line: The outside.


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Joke: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?


Punch line: Sham-BOO!


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Joke: How do they serve smart hamburgers?


Punch line: On honor rolls.


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Joke: What do sea monsters eat for lunch?


Punch line: Fish and ships.


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Joke: What did the mayo say when the refrigerator door opened?


Punch line: "Close the door! I'm dressing!"


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Joke: What did the hat say to the scarf?


Punch line: “You hang around, and I'll go on a head."


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Joke: What did the lawyer name his daughter?


Punch line: Sue.


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Joke: Why can't Martian kitties drink their milk?


Punch line: Because it's in flying saucers!


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Joke: Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?


Punch line: At forks in the road.


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Joke: How does the ocean say hello?


Punch line: It waves.


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Joke: What did one plate say to the other plate?


Punch line: Dinner's on me tonight!


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Joke: What kind of music do mummies like?


Punch line: Wrap.


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Joke: When do astronauts eat?


Punch line: At launch time.


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Joke: What did one volcano say to the other volcano?


Punch line: I lava you.


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Joke: Why can't skeletons play church music?


Punch line: Because they have no organs.


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Joke: What did the frog order at the diner?


Punch line: French flies and a Diet Croak.


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Joke: Why are teddy bears never hungry?


Punch line: Because they're always stuffed.


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Joke: What did zero say to eight?


Punch line: Nice belt!


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Joke: When is the moon heaviest?


Punch line: When it's full.


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Joke: Why do bees have sticky hair?


Punch line: Because they have honeycombs.


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Joke: What did the left eye say to the right eye?


Punch line: "Between you and me, something smells!"


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Joke: Why do elephants have trunks?


Punch line: Because they'd look funny with suitcases.


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Joke: Why was the boy sitting on his watch?


Punch line: Because he wanted to be on time.


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Joke: Why did the opera singer go sailing?


Punch line: Because she wanted to hit the high C’s.


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Joke: Why did the melon jump into the lake?


Punch line: It wanted to be a watermelon.


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Joke: What did Tennessee?


Punch line: The same thing Arkansas.


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Joke: What kind of music do planets sing?


Punch line: Neptunes!


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Joke: What would you call a sleeping bull?


Punch line: A bulldozer.


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Joke: Why couldn't the kid see the pirate movie?


Punch line: It was rated ARR!


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Joke: Why did the football coach go to the bank?


Punch line: To get his quarterback.


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Joke: What do you do if you're attacked by a group of clowns?


Punch line: Go for the juggler.


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Joke: How do you cut a wave in half?


Punch line: Use a sea saw.


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Joke: What do you call a penguin in the desert?


Punch line: Lost!


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Joke: Where do you put barking dogs?


Punch line: In a barking lot.


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Joke: What is a boxer's favorite drink?


Punch line: Punch!


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Joke: What do you give a lemon in distress?


Punch line: Lemonade.


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Joke: How do hair stylists speed up their job?


Punch line: They take short cuts!


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Joke: Why did the belt go to jail?


Punch line: It held up a pair of pants.


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Joke: How do you make a fire with two sticks?


Punch line: Make sure one's a match!


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By jena

Joke: What did the optimist say when he was jumping off a building?


Punch line: So far, so good!


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