Short Jokes

Joke: A man and his girlfriend are discussing their relationship. She thinks he is too immature. He asks her, "If I'm immature, then how do I have so much butfore?"

She asks, "What's a butfore?"

"Pooping silly...."

Joke: A man with a dog walks into a bank that has a sign reading "No dogs." A security guard walks up to him and asks "Did you read the sign? No dogs."

The man replies "I know. Someone should fix that. It should say one dog."

Joke: A man comes home after being out all night. When he arrives home his wife is glaring at him. She asks him, "Why did you decide to show up at 6 in the morning?"

The man stumbles a bit, and replies "I want some breakfast."

Joke: A man's boat is going down in German waters. He radios for help. On the other end he hears, "Vat is vrong?!"

The man replies, "I'm sinking! I'm sinking!"

The radio shouts back, "Okay! Vat are you sinking about?"

Joke: A man calls 911 because his wife is in labor. He yells, "My wife is in labor and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!"

The dispatcher asks, "Is this her first child?"

The man replies, "No, I'm her husband!"