Funny Jokes

Joke: At first God created Adam but Adam was lonely. He asked God, "Can you give me somebody that will care for me, listen to me, love me, make me happy, and help me through tough situations?"

God replied, "Yeah, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg."

Adam then asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Joke: A prisoner promises a female guard he will marry her if she helps him get out. It is an example of somebody using a proposition to end a sentence with.

Joke: A man joins a golfing tournament, but he is a terrible golfer. Lucky for him an evil leprechaun lives on the course and offers him a deal, "I will make you win this tournament, if you promise to never marry!"

The man agrees and indeed wins the tournament. Afterwards the leprechaun approaches the man, "Remember, you can't marry anybody now!"

Adjusting his collar the priest replies, "Yeah, whatever."

Joke: A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives it to her.

Joke: Did you know that everybody has a photographic memory?