Funny Jokes

 

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Joke: A Nobel Prize winning mathematician is traveling from university to university on a speaking tour by limousine. After several engagements the mathematician and his driver are having dinner and the driver says "I've heard your speech so many times I think I could give it word-for-word." The mathematician accepts the challenge and they switch places for the next speech; the driver dresses like the professor and the professor dresses as the driver and sits in the back of the auditorium.

The driver gives the speech flawlessly and opens up the floor for question, usually there are none. But one of the students at the university has a very large ego and decides to attempt to stump the Nobel Prize winner. After the student asks his question for ten straight minutes the driver laughs and says "That question is so simple I'll let my driver in the back answer it."


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Joke: Three blondes are walking in the forest when they come across some tracks. The first blonde says "These are definitely rabbit tracks."

The second blonde says "Are you crazy? These are bear tracks."

The final blonde says "You're both wrong, these are moose tracks."

They argued for hours until finally the train hit them.


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Joke: Why was everybody extremely surprised when Sally failed her driving test?


Punch line: She had Tweeted five times how great it was going.


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Joke: What did one mountain say to the other mountain?


Punch line: Hey Cliff!


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Joke: A man is trying to find a spot to park at his favorite bar but it's to busy. After ten minutes of looking he looks up to the sky and says "God, if you get me a space I will pray every day and go to church every Sunday like I should."

Suddenly a great spot opens up right in front of him. He looks up again with excitement and says "Never mind, I found one."


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