Funny Jokes

Joke: A teacher is announcing her classes next speaker for career day, who happens to be a butcher. She says "He has chicken wings, pigs cheeks, and chicken breast."

One of the students blurts out "He must be really funny looking."

Joke: Why did the grocery delivery guy get fired?

Joke: A man and his blonde wife are sitting inside, by the fire, when the radio announcer comes on: "We are expecting up to a foot of snow tonight, please make sure you are parked on the even-numbered side of the road." The wife goes out and moves her car.

The next day the same thing happens, and the announcer comes on: "We are expecting up to a foot of snow tonight, please make sure you are parked on the odd-numbered side of the road." The wife goes out and moves her car.

A few days later the same thing happens and the announcer comes on: "We are expecting up to two feet of snow tonight, please make sure you are parked on the-" but the power goes out in the middle of the announcement.

The blonde freaks out, "Which side do I put my car on?!"

Her husband tenderly confronts her saying, "How about we just leave the car in the garage this time?"

Joke: Two eager athletes approach the football coach telling him they want to play on his football team. Okay says the coach, but first we have to give you a test to see if you're intelligent enough to play on my team (select your least favorite college team). They go to the classroom for the test. The first question on the test is " Old MacDonald had a ______." After a few minutes, one of the guys whispers to the other... "Hey... what did old MacDonald have?" The other guy exclaims, "You dummy! Old MacDonald had a FARM!!" "Ohh Yeah.... Okay." says the first guy. A couple of minutes later, the first guy whispers again... " Hey... how do you spell FARM?" "Oh c'mon you dummy. Don't you remember the song?

Joke: What do you call somebody who spends money uncontrollably and eventually purchases an entire mall?