Funny Jokes

Joke: A man went to his local observatory because his telescope was broken.

They said they'd look into it.

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Jurassic!
Jurassic who?
Jurassic man, so I brought you soup!
Jurassic = you're a sick

Joke: A large man went to the doctor and the doctor told him to lose some weight. The man asked him how. The doctor replies, "Don't eat anything fatty."

The man asks, "You mean like fast food, chips, and cookies?"

The doctor replies, "No, don't eat anything. Fatty!"

Joke: A 90-year-old man goes to the doctor for his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he is and he replies, "Great, I'm 90 years old, I have an 20 year old bride, and she's pregnant with my child."

The doctor looks at him for a second, "Let me tell you a story. A knew a man who loved to hunt. One day he went out and was in such a hurry he grabbed an umbrella instead of a gun. As soon as he got out there a bear jumped out of the woods at him. He grabbed his umbrella, pointed it at the bear, and squeezed the handle. You know what happened next?"

The old man, dumbfounded, replies, "No, what?"

"The bear dropped dead right there!"

The old man protests, "Someone else must have shot the bear!"

The doctor nods, "Exactly."

Joke: A man is with his wife on his deathbed. He leans towards her, "Honey, I have one last wish. After I die, marry Joe."

She replies, "I thought you hated Joe?"

He looks her deeply in the eyes and with his last breath says, "I do."