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Joke: A blonde woman wants to bath in milk because she heard it makes your skin silky smooth. So when the milkman comes she tells him "I'm going to need 25 gallons of milk."

He replies "Damn, what for?"

She tells him "I want to bath in it."

Confused he asks her "Would you like that pasteurized?"

She replies "No, just up to my tits is fine. I'll splash it on my eyes."


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Joke: 2 guys walk on to a bar.One guy says duck. The other guy hit the bar.


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Joke: Joe Bob goes to Billy Bob's barn to see what he's been up to. He sees Billy stripping for his John Deere tractor. He slowly removes his overalls and twerks on it. Joe bursts in and asks, "Billy! What are you doing?"

Billy exclaims, "Dang Joe! You scared the life out of me! Me and the wife went to counseling and the therapist says I need to do something sexy to a tractor."


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Joke: How is a wife like a hand grenade?


Punch line: Remove the ring, and your house is gone.


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Joke: A man asked his girlfriend for a newspaper and she replied, "Don't be silly, just use my iPad."

At first he was hesitant, but the fly never saw it coming.


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Joke: What did one snowman say to the other?


Punch line: Do you smell carrots?


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