Riddle #841

Question: Does England have a 4th of July?

Question: Your friend tells you about a story he once tried to impress a young lady with, but instead got a slap in the face. He wants you to attempt to see the flaw: It was a hot and windless day, in our bunker, when suddenly one of ours yelled: "Enemy!" We opened fire on them, leaving one hundred of them dead before they retreated. I was checking a dead captain's glasses when the shout came that they were incoming again, and the CO ordered us to open up on them with our mortars, when I yelled: "Cease fire! They're Americans!" Later, an American colonel thanked me for my work after I said that I saw their flag, waving back and forth in the wind. What is wrong with this story?

Question: What tastes better than it smells?

Question: What goes in the water black and comes out red?

Question: What loses its head in the morning and gets it back at night?

Question: What two things can you never eat for breakfast?