Long Riddles and Answers

Question: Two men went into a restaurant. They sat at a table and the waiter came by and asked, "What do you want to drink?"

The first man said, "I'll have H₂0."

The second man said, "I'll have H₂0 too."

The second man died.

Why?

Question: There are these polar bears. And one day they decide to go fishing. So they go out on the ice, they cut a hole, and they sit around it. They catch 2 Karp and 7 Blue Gill. They say, that was some good fishing. Let's roll the dice. They role a 4 and a 3. How many polar bears were there?

Question: Romeo and Juliet are dead. The only evidence of their death is in their house, and it is some shattered glass and a puddle of water. The only furniture in the house is a bed, a dresser and a bookshelf. The house is next to a railroad track. Their only pet was a cat. How did they die?

Question: A farmer has a ton of strange animals, but he has to sell one of them. He has a pig with two tails, a cow with two utters, a horse with two right hooves, and a chicken with only three toes on each foot.

To keep his livestock as weird as possible, what animal should he sell?

Question: I join you in battle, fist clenched tight.
We pound three times with all our might.
If my rival decides he will sign for peace;
I'll crush him, and the fight will cease.
But if he lays his hand down flat;
I'll suffer defeat, that is that.

What am I?