Funny Riddles

Question: I'm a measurement of time.
But you'll find me on a map, not a clock.

What am I?

Question: What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?

Question: I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champagne bubble.
If you squeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.

Can you answer the riddle?

Question: Why was the fat man sad?

Question: How do you drown a hipster?