Funny Riddles

Question: The shorter I am, the bigger I am.

What am I?

Question: What always goes to bed with its shoes on?

Question: There are several different kinds, but the one you pick doesn't do its job.

What is it?

Question: One day, the boss, named Harold, changed the computer's password. Then one of his employees, named Ted, came up to him and asked if he changed the password. Harold said, " yes I did change the password Ted." Ted replied " may you tell me?" Harold thought and said, " um.. Ok. The password is in this riddle" The employee said" ok got it. What is the riddle sir?" What is the password?

Question: What gets longer when pulled,fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole,has choked people when used improperly,and works best when jerked?