Long Jokes

Joke: A man walks up to another man and asks him , "Are you a lawyer?"

The other man replies, "Yes I am."

The other guy asks, "How much do you charge?"

The lawyer replies, "$500 per 4 questions."

The other guy replies, "Isn't that a little much?"

The lawyer replies, "Maybe, you have one more question."

Joke: A man walks into a restaurant. A waitress recognizes him as a bum who rarely has any money. She confronts the man by asking him what does he want. He asks her how much is a cup of coffee and she tells him $0.99. Next he asks her how much is a refill and she tells him that refills are free. So the bum asks, "Can I please have a refill?"

Joke: A mother and her son go to church and the son says "Mom, I have to go pee!"

The mom says "You shouldn't say that in church. From now on just say you have to whisper."

The next week when the boy's father takes him to church the boy says "Dad, I have to whisper."

The dad replies "Okay... Just whisper into my ear."

Joke: Pythagorean theorem: 24 words.

The Lord's prayer: 66 words.

Archimedes' Principle: 67 words.

The 10 Commandments: 179 words.

The Gettysburg address: 286 words.

The Declaration of Independence: 1,300 words.

The US Government regulations on the sale of cabbage: 26,911 words.

Joke: A blonde goes to the hospital with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her, "How did you manage this?"

The blonde replies, "Well I was ironing and recieved a phone call. I accidentally picked up the iron instead of the phone."

The doctor says, "That explains one ear."

She replies, "Well they called again!"