Good Jokes

Joke: The Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."

But instead John came in fifth and got a toaster.

Joke: Bringing a gun to a knife fight is like bringing Chuck Norris to an atomic bomb fight.

Joke: An Englishman, Frenchman, Spaniard, and a German are walking down the road and see a street performer juggling. The performer notices they are all squinting as they look at him so he asks, "Can you guys see me okay?"

They reply, "Yes" "Oui" "Si" "Ja!"

Joke: Where does a sheep get its hair cut?

Joke: Two men are playing golf together when they catch up to a couple of ladies who are playing very slowly. One of the men decides to ask them if they can play through but as he approaches them he realizes the women are his wife and mistress.

He tells the second man about the situation so the second man decides he will ask. He quickly turns around and says, "Small world."