Good Jokes

Joke: A girl brings her boyfriend to her house to meet her parents. While eating dinner, the father asks her boyfriend, "So what are you studying?"

He replies, "Philosophy."

The father asks, "What are you going to do with that?"

The boy replies, "I'm not sure, but God will provide."

The father, stunned, then asks, "Do you have any aspirations at all?"

The boy again replies, "No, but I have faith that God will provide."

Later the girl asks her father what he thought. He tells her, "I like him. He's stupid and has no life plans. But he thinks I'm God!"

Joke: A duck walks into a store and buys a can of soda. The clerk asks him, "Would you like to pay with cash or credit?"

The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Panther!
Panther who?
Panth-er no panth, I'm going swimming!
(Panth = pants)

Joke: What do dwarfs and midgets have in common?

Joke: A blonde woman has lived in Russia for many years. One day a government official comes to her and tells her, "Miss, quite a while back there was an error by a surveyor. You actually live in Ukraine."

The blonde replies, "Thank god! I don't think I could make it through one more Russian winter."