Good Jokes

Joke: An ant and a centipede are hanging out and they run out of pop. The ant is going to get more but the centipede tells him, "Let me go, I'm faster with all of my legs." The ant agrees.

After waiting a couple of hours the ant calls the centipede, "What's taking so long?"

The centipede replies, "Hold on, I almost have my shoes on."

Joke: Why are people always mad when you hand them their 80th birthday card?

Joke: Why don't lobsters share?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Abby!
Abby who?
Abby birthday to you!

Joke: You ever wonder how many push ups Chuck Norris can do? All of them.