Good Jokes

Joke: A man stands buy his grandpa who is dying at 130 years old. His grandpa tells him, "The secret to a long life is to sprinkle a little gunpowder in your cereal every morning." Then he dies.

The boy listens to him and does it every morning. At the age of 143 he leaves behind 3 wives, 14 children, 40 grandchildren, 78 great grandchildren, 167 great great grandchildren, and a mile wide hole where the crematorium used to be.

Joke: Why are people in the middle of the ocean yelling "Shark!" stupid?

Joke: A man and his wife are in front of a judge deciding who gets them. The wife tells the judge, "I'm their mother. I birthed them and I should get to raise them."

The judge then turns to the father and asks for his reasoning. The man thinks for a while and retorts, "If I put a $1.50 into a pop machine and a coke comes out, the does the machine get the coke?"

Joke: What did Osama Bin Laden's ghost say to Mitt Romney?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
De Niro!
De Niro who?
De Niro I get to you, the happier I am!