Good Jokes

Joke: A snail walks into a car dealership and asks them if he could get an 'S' painted on the hood of a particular car. The salesman asks him why and he responds "I want people to yell 'Look at that S car go!'"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Emerson!
Emerson who?
Emerson nice shoes you got there.

Joke: There is no such thing as global warming, just Chuck Norris turning up the thermostat.

Joke: A private is standing outside in the smoking area when he is approached by a young lieutenant, "Private, do you have change for a dollar?!"

The private replies, "I sure do pal."

The lieutenant yells back, "I am not your pal! You will address me as an officer and give me the respect I have earned maggot! Stand at attention and tell me again, do you have change for a dollar?"

The private, now standing perfectly erect says, "Sir, no sir!"

Joke: Knock!Knock! no one is in... no one is in who...wait...aren't you suppose to say that... :I