Funny Jokes

Joke: A blonde woman has lived in Russia for many years. One day a government official comes to her and tells her, "Miss, quite a while back there was an error by a surveyor. You actually live in Ukraine."

The blonde replies, "Thank god! I don't think I could make it through one more Russian winter."

Joke: What did the boy with no arms get for his birthday?

Joke: A man goes to a coffee shop and asks the blonde waitress, "Can I have a coffee with sugar, no cream?"

The waitress replies, "Oh, I'm so sorry sir. We don't have cream. Could I get it to you with no milk instead?"

Joke: Why do they call the area between the boobs and vagina the 'waist'?

Joke: A girl brings her boyfriend to her house to meet her parents. While eating dinner, the father asks her boyfriend, "So what are you studying?"

He replies, "Philosophy."

The father asks, "What are you going to do with that?"

The boy replies, "I'm not sure, but God will provide."

The father, stunned, then asks, "Do you have any aspirations at all?"

The boy again replies, "No, but I have faith that God will provide."

Later the girl asks her father what he thought. He tells her, "I like him. He's stupid and has no life plans. But he thinks I'm God!"