Funny Jokes

Joke: A man owns a rabbit farm and is known around the world for his rabbits who can lift more than any man. A little boy asks him "How do you keep your rabbits so strong?"

The man replies, "It's no secret." He pulls out a bottle of shampoo and says, "Keeps your hares strong!"

Joke: A police officer pulls over a car full of old women. He says "Mam, you realize you can't drive that slow on the highway. It's dangerous."

She responds "Isn't the speed limit 33?"

Laughing the cop says "No man, this is highway 33. That's not the speed limit." He looks into the back of the car and the women are frightened. He asks "What's wrong with them?"

The lady says "I don't know. We just came off of Highway 144."

Joke: Girlfriend: What are you doing?
Mathematician: Just wrestling with these unknowns in bed.
Girlfriend: What?!
Mathematician: Yeah. Just a minute ago I was working out some models.
*Hangs up*
Mathematician: Oh you thought... Hello?

Joke: A man walks into a bar with some jumper cables. The bartender looks at him and says, "You can get something to drink but don't try to start anything."

Joke: A man walks into a bar with his dog but the bartender says "You can't bring your dog into here!"

The man replies "but this is no ordinary dog. You see, this dog can talk. I'll prove it to you. What covers trees?"

The dog replies "Bark!"

He asks "What's on top of a house?"

The dog answers "Roof!"

Finally the man asks "Who's your favorite baseball player?"

The dog says "Ruth!" The bartender immediately throws them both out.

The man says "What was that guy's problem?"

The dog answers "Maybe he's not a fan of the Yankees."