Funny Jokes

Joke: A thief walks up to a man, pulls out a knife, and says "Give me all of your money."

The man, surprised, says "You can't rob me, I'm a congressman!"

The thief responds "In that case, give me my money!"

Joke: A very very short man was robbed. The robber was eventually found and questioned by police. They were stunned he could stoop so low.

Joke: A man walks into the bar and says, "Pour me a stiff one! Just got into another fight with the old lady."

The bartender asks him, "How'd it end this time?"

The man replies, "She came crawling back to me on her hands and knees."

The bartender is surprised, "Wow, that's a change. What'd she say?"

The man says, "She said, 'Come out from under there, you little bitch.'"

Joke: Pavlov is sitting in a bar when another patron rings the bell to get in. He gets up and says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Interruption snail.
Interrupting snail who?
*10 seconds pass*
Snail!