Funny Jokes

Joke: What two things are parents worried about these days?

Joke: Why did the stoplight turn red?

Joke: Police Officer Nico receives a call from his chief. His chief tells him "Nico. I'm sorry but you're going to have to arrest your mother."

Nico starts to reply "Chief-" but is interrupted by his chief.

"Nico, I know it's hard, but it's part of the job."

Nico pauses and replies "Sir, I was just going to ask for backup."

Joke: There was a boy who didn't know the meaning of pregnant, so he went to his mom to ask but his mom looked at him in anger that's why he thought pregnant means anger. The next day, he fell on the neighbor's girl. The girl's mom then said to the boy: "What insolent behavior is this?" So the boy answered, "I fell on the girl. Why are you getting pregnant?"

Joke: A man's penis is severed in a car accident. He is crushed but is awarded $90,000 in a lawsuit afterwards. But while he's at the doctor's office his doctor tells him there is a new surgery for penis reconstruction. He can get a new penis for $10,000 an inch. Extremely happy he says, "I have to talk to my wife! I'll be back tomorrow to tell you how long we want it!"

The next day the man returns and the doctor asks him how long he wants it. Dejected the man replies, "We're getting a new kitchen."