Funny Jokes

 

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Joke: A cop is doing his regular patrol and sees a car parked in the lover's lane with the windows all steamy. He approaches the car and knocks on the window. "Can I help you officer?" the boy inside the car asks the officer.

The cop replies, "Uh, yeah. What are you guys doing out here so late?"

The boy replies, "I'm just reading a book. She's back there playing games on her phone, I think."

The cop asks him, "Son, have you been drinking?"

The boy replies, "No way, I'm only twenty."

The cop looks to the girl, "And how old is she?"

The guy checks him phone, "Sir, in ten minutes she will be eighteen."


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Joke: Why don't most buildings have a 13th floor?


Punch line: They aren't that tall.


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Joke: A man joins a golfing tournament, but he is a terrible golfer. Lucky for him an evil leprechaun lives on the course and offers him a deal, "I will make you win this tournament, if you promise to never marry!"

The man agrees and indeed wins the tournament. Afterwards the leprechaun approaches the man, "Remember, you can't marry anybody now!"

Adjusting his collar the priest replies, "Yeah, whatever."


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Joke: What is 50 cent known as in Zimbabwe?


Punch line: 100,000 dollars.


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Joke: A kid from Texas is on the Yale campus for the very first time. He approaches a student and says, "Hey, can you tell me where the library is at?" The Yale student replies "At Yale, we don't end a sentence with a preposition." The kid says, "Sorry about that. Can you tell me where the library is at, jerk?"


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