Funny Jokes

Joke: If King Tut had a watchmaker, and that watchmaker had a favorite 80's movie, what would it be?

Joke: Mahatma Gandhi spent most of his time barefoot, covering his feet with calluses. He ate very little, which made him frail. His odd diet also gave him bad breath.

What did this make him?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Holla Lula!
Holla Lula who?
Holla lula! It's raining men! Hallelujah!

Joke: Teacher: What is the formula for water?

Johnny: H I J K L M N O.

Teacher: No Johnny, it's H₂O.

Johnny: That's what I said.

Joke: A man and his wife go to the doctor's office. After the doctor sees him he calls in his wife and she asks "Is my husband okay Doctor?"

The doctor replies "Well, he will be if you do everything I say. You have to prepare all of his meals for him every day. You also have to do all of his chores, never nag at him, and most importantly you must massage him three times a day. Do this for about a year and he will live."

Later in the car the husband asks his wife what the doctor said and she replies "He said you were going to die."