Funny Jokes

Joke: A blonde woman walks into a library and walks up to the librarian. She tells her "I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

The librarian, slightly annoyed, tells her "Honey, this is a library. Not a McDonald's."

The blonde, extremely embarrassed, whispers "I'm sorry. I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

Joke: Why did Sally fall of the swing?
Because she had no arms!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Not Sally

Joke: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Joe Biden, and their pilot are flying aboard Air Force 1 over the United States.

Barack: "Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out of the window and make someone very happy."

Michelle: "Well, I could throw throw ten hundred dollar bills out of the window and make ten people happy."

Joe: "Why don't you jump out Barack, and make me very happy?"

Pilot: "Why don't you all jump out and make 300 million people happy?"

Joke: A blonde wife texts her husband while he is at work saying "Windows frozen."

He responds "Pour some room temperature water over it."

She texts him "No longer frozen, computers dead."

Joke: John got his girlfriend pregnant. Ever since then he has changed drastically. He has a new address, phone number, and name.