Funny Jokes

Joke: A blonde woman was going through a very difficult time in her life. She lost her job, her family, and all of her money. With nothing left to do, she decided to pray, "God, please let me win the lottery. I've lost everything." But the lottery came and she didn't win.

She prayed once again, "God, I know the chance of winning the lottery is low, but I need it. Please let me win." But once again the lottery came and went and she didn't win.

At this point she started to get angry with God, "Listen here God, I need to win the lottery. You owe me that much."

Suddenly light beams descend from the sky and God appears before her. She asks him, "God, why can't you just let me win?"

God shakes his head and said, "I'm doing everything I can. Could you meet me half way and actually buy a ticket?."

Joke: Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue?

Joke: A woman gets onto a bus with her baby and the driver says "That's the ugliest baby!"

She sits down and tells the person next to her "The bus driver just insulted me!"

The person responds "You should go confront him! I'll hold your dog."

Joke: The first twelve months of children's lives are spent teaching them to walk and talk. The next seventeen years are spent telling them to sit down and shut up!

Joke: Two blondes are standing on opposite sides of a river. One yells to the other, "How did you get to the other side!"

The other blonde replies "Don't ask me, you're the one on the other side."