Funny Jokes

Joke: A man tells the lady that takes tickets at the airport, "Send one of my bags to New York, one to Denver, and one to Miami."

The lady replies, "We can't do that sir."

The man replies, "Sure you can, you did it just a week ago."

Joke: A deckhand approaches the pirate captain and tells him, "The cannons be ready, captain."

The captain replies, "Are."

Joke: You know what makes me smile?

Joke: A man tells his wife, "The neighbors hate us."

His wife asks, "Why?"

He says, "Remember the time we were making marshmallows and the fire broke out down the road and everyone rushed over to check it out?"

His wife replies, "Yeah?"

The man says, "We were still holding the sticks."

Joke: An Asian woman goes to the bank to exchange some Yen for dollars. She hands the teller the same amount as she did the previous day but gets less American dollars in return. She asks the tell, "Why I get less today? Before I get a hundret and now only eighty?"

The teller tells her, "Fluctuations."

The lady replies, "Fluck you white people too!"