Funny Jokes

Joke: A man named Tom meets a man named Clark at a party on the 30th floor of a building. They get to talking and Clark tells Tom that the wind is just right so that if you jump out the window you will circle the building and fly right back in. Tom naturally doesn't believe him. Clark proves it by jumping out the window a few times and coming right back in. Finally Tom believes him and he jumps out of the window breaking every bone in his body.

Clark's girlfriend Lois turns to him and says "You can be a real jerk when you're drunk superman."

Joke: John asked his friend, "How's everything?"

His friend replied, "I'm just happy to be breathing."

John said, "You should have bigger aspirations bro."

Joke: A lawyer is getting out of his Rolls Royce and a truck slams into his car. He yells, "What the heck are you doing?!"

The driver replies, "Are you serious, you car so much about money you didn't even notice your arm is missing?"

At this point the lawyer freaks out, "And my Rolex!"

Joke: A blonde woman walks into a library and walks up to the librarian. She tells her "I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

The librarian, slightly annoyed, tells her "Honey, this is a library. Not a McDonald's."

The blonde, extremely embarrassed, whispers "I'm sorry. I'll have a double cheese burger, medium fries, and a large drink."

Joke: Customer: The new one I bought from you sucks more than the old one!
Customer service: I'm glad to hear you are satisfied with your new vacuum sir.