Funny Jokes

Joke: A kid asks his dad, "What does gay mean?"

His dad replies, "It means happy."

The kid asks, "Are you gay dad?"

The father replies, "No, son. I'm married."

Joke: A man is on a long flight and he starts shaking. A flight attendant notices he is disturbed and asks him if she can do anything to calm him down. He says yes so she brings him a drink.

An hour later he is shaking again but even worse. So she gets him another drink and brings it to him.

Another hour goes by and now he is crying. The flight attendant approaches him and the man yells "Why are you people doing this to me?"

The flight attendant replies "Sir calm down, why are you so afraid of flying?"

The man replies "Flying? I'm trying to get sober!"

Joke: Four ladies are sitting together talking about their sons. The first one brags, "My son is is a bishop, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your excellence'."

The second lady brags, "My son is is a cardinal, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your eminence'."

The third lady brags, "My son is is the pope, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your holiness'."

The final lady says, "My son doesn't have a title, he weighs 500 pounds and is only 5 feet tall. But every time he walks into a room everybody says, 'Oh my god!'"

Joke: What did people say when they saw the first dry erase board?

Joke: A man gets pulled over for drunk driving and is put into handcuffs. The female police officer that pulled him over tells him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you."

He stumbles and yells, "Tits!"