Funny Jokes

Joke: A blonde was taking helicopter lessons and she was finally ready to try it on her own. The instructor told her to radio him every 1000 feet to make sure everything was okay.

At 1000 feet she radioed him, "Everything is fine."

At 2000 feet she radioed him, "Everything is fine, just getting a little cold."

But before she reached 3000 feet the helicopter began to slowly come down. It crashed into the ground ruining the helicopter, but the blonde was fine. The instructor ran to her side to comfort her, "What happened?"

She replied, "I told you it was getting cold. So I shut off the giant fan."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Ya!
Ya who?
Nope, Google.

Joke: A man stands buy his grandpa who is dying at 130 years old. His grandpa tells him, "The secret to a long life is to sprinkle a little gunpowder in your cereal every morning." Then he dies.

The boy listens to him and does it every morning. At the age of 143 he leaves behind 3 wives, 14 children, 40 grandchildren, 78 great grandchildren, 167 great great grandchildren, and a mile wide hole where the crematorium used to be.

Joke: Where does the general put his armies?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Euripides!
Euripides who?
Euripides pants and I'm gonna be mad!