Funny Jokes

Joke: A blonde and a brunette are walking in the forest when they spot a forest fire. The blonde starts to put her running shoes on and the brunette tells her "There is no way you can outrun the fire."

The blonde replies "Don't have to... I just have to outrun you."

Joke: A man's wife yells up the stairs to him, "The sun's finally come out!" He quickly throws shorts, flip flops, and a tank top on.

When he runs down stairs he sees his son holding his friend Tom's hand. The man's wife looks at him shocked, and says, "Oh God, not you too."

Joke: A man walks up to another man and asks him , "Are you a lawyer?"

The other man replies, "Yes I am."

The other guy asks, "How much do you charge?"

The lawyer replies, "$500 per 4 questions."

The other guy replies, "Isn't that a little much?"

The lawyer replies, "Maybe, you have one more question."

Joke: A 90 year old woman goes on a date with a 91 year old man. When she gets home to her daughter she tells her "I had to slap him 4 times."

The daughter asks "Was he getting fresh?"

The old woman replies "No, I thought he had expired!"

Joke: What's E.T. short for?