Funny Jokes

Joke: A blonde asks her brunette friend, "Do you know what IDK stands for?"

Her friend replies, "I don't know."

The blonde replies, "OMG nobody does!"

Joke: A very religious woman has a parrot that prays. He sits at the bottom of his cage whispering prayers all day. She brags about her bird to everyone she meets.

One day she is bragging and a man says that he has a female parrot who is always swearing. They decide that it would be a good idea to put them together so the female parrot can learn from the praying male parrot.

So the man brings his female parrot over and they put her in the cage. The male parrot looks up at her from his prayer and says "Thank Jesus! My prayers have been answered!"

Joke: A preacher is coming to the end of his sermon and he tells the congregation, "In preparation for next week's sermon, everybody read Leviticus chapter 28."

Next week when everybody comes in the preacher follows up, "Now who read Leviticus chapter 28?" Almost everybody raises their hands. The preacher says, "Okay, good. There is no Leviticus chapter 28. I'd like to begin my sermon on lying."

Joke: A prostitute is on the job for the first day. Trying to make friends, she asks the prostitute next to her, "Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

The other woman replies, "Nope. But I was swung by my tits once!"

Joke: A blonde woman is pulled over on a by a police officer for swerving. He asks her, "Mam, why were you swerving all over the road?"

She looks relieved, "Sir! I'm glad you're here. I looked away for a second then there was a tree right in front of me. Then I swerved left and another tree was right there. Then right, then left."

The police officer bends over and looks into her car and reaches for the rear-view mirror, "Mam, this is your air freshener."