Funny Jokes

Joke: What did the Easter egg say to the boiling water?

Joke: A wealthy lawyer is driving down the road in his limo when he sees two men eating grass on the side of the road. He pulls over to investigate.

He asks one of the men, "Why are you eating this disgusting grass?"

The man replies, "I'm too poor, it's all we have."

The lawyer replies, "You and your buddy can come home with me and I'll feed you."

The man replies, "But sir, we both have families."

The lawyer replies, "Bring them all!" So they all pile into the car.

One of the men's wives turns to the lawyer and tells him, "Thank you so much sir, we really needed this."

The lawyer responds, "No problem, the grass is almost a foot tall, you'll love it!"

Joke: A man's boat is going down in German waters. He radios for help. On the other end he hears, "Vat is vrong?!"

The man replies, "I'm sinking! I'm sinking!"

The radio shouts back, "Okay! Vat are you sinking about?"

Joke: A guy is in a car accident and he breaks both of his legs. He calls the police and they ask him what street he is on and he says "I'm on Schlepsentle Road."

The officer says "Can you spell that sir?"

The man thinks for a while and answers "I'll crawl over to Oak."

Joke: What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?