Funny Jokes

Joke: A man tells the lady that takes tickets at the airport, "Send one of my bags to New York, one to Denver, and one to Miami."

The lady replies, "We can't do that sir."

The man replies, "Sure you can, you did it just a week ago."

Joke: A deckhand approaches the pirate captain and tells him, "The cannons be ready, captain."

The captain replies, "Are."

Joke: You know what makes me smile?

Joke: Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware store?

Joke: The first twelve months of children's lives are spent teaching them to walk and talk. The next seventeen years are spent telling them to sit down and shut up!