Funny Jokes

Joke: Why are teachers and trains always at odds?

Joke: A man told his wife ten puns about airplanes hoping one would land.

No pun in ten did.

Joke: How can you tell the difference between a dog and a tree?

Joke: A lady is on a flight from India to the United States. She stands up and yells, "Is there a doctor on board?!"

A man stands up and says, "I'm a doctor, what's the problem?"

She replies, "Want to meet my daughter?"

Joke: An Englishman is walking down the Irish countryside and stops at a river to take a drink. He cups a hand and gets some water. Just as he is about to drink a shepherd yells to him in a thick Irish accent, "Don't drink out the river, it's full of sheep pee!"

The Englishman replies, "I don't understand a word you are saying. I'm English. What'd you say?"

The shepherd replies, "Use both hands, you'll get more that way."