Funny Jokes

Joke: A blonde woman has lived in Russia for many years. One day a government official comes to her and tells her, "Miss, quite a while back there was an error by a surveyor. You actually live in Ukraine."

The blonde replies, "Thank god! I don't think I could make it through one more Russian winter."

Joke: One day the triangle player of an orchestra gets very sick and goes the hospital. The entire day he practiced through his sneezing and sniffling. The next day he goes home to find his house surrounded by police cars. He asks a police officer, "What happened?"

The officer replies, "Your conductor came by your house to talk to you while you were at the hospital. He was angry that you missed rehearsal. When he got home and found that you weren't there he killed your entire family in anger."

The triangle player, stunned, looks deeply into the police officer's eyes with a single tear running down his face, "The conductor wanted to talk to me?"

Joke: A pirate goes to the doctor to have a few of the moles on his back checked out. When the doctor is finished he tells the pirate, "You're okay, they're benign."

The pirate responds, "Check again doc, there be at least twelve of them."

Joke: Why don't they have rehab for cars addicted to brake fluid?

Joke: What does an elderly man have in common with a line of rabbits walking backwards?