Funny Jokes

Joke: A man's wife comes up to him and tells him, "Take off my shirt." So he does.

She then tells him, "Take off my skirt and high heels." So he does.

Then she tells him, "Take off my bra and underwear." So he does.

Finally she tells him, "I better never find you wearing my clothes again."

Joke: Why do bankers eat alone?

Joke: A man calls home, "Hi honey, is mommy there?"

"No daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle John."

"But you don't have an Uncle John... Go up there, knock on the door, and yell, 'Daddy's home!' Okay honey?"

"Okay," she sets down the phone and goes to her mother's door and yells what she was told. "Okay I did it."

"And what happened?"

"Mommy jumped out of bed naked, tripped, and now she's not moving. Uncle John jumped out of the window into the pool, and now he's not moving."

Very long pause

"Wait... Pool? Is this 555-5598?"

Joke: How is a wife like a hand grenade?

Joke: An old couple is sitting on their couch and the woman asks her husband "If I die will you get married again."

The husband replies "Well I don't want to be lonely... So yes."

His wife shoots him a dirty look and says "Will you live in our house?"

The husband replies "Well it's already paid off... So yes."

His wife is extremely mad at this point. She asks him "Will she use my golf clubs?!"

The husband replies "Oh no... She's left handed."