Funny Jokes

Joke: Teacher: Give me a sentence that starts with the letter, "I".
Student: Okay! I is the...
Teacher: Stop! Don't say 'is' after "I". Always put 'am' after "I".
Student: Okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet!

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Lawyers.
Lawyers who?
Everybody knows that!
Lawyers who = Lawyers sue.

Joke: A photon walks into a hotel with his bags and the bellhop asks him if he would like him to carry the bags. The photon responds, "No thanks, I pack light."

Joke: A blonde, brunette, and red head are all spies and are caught behind enemy lines. They are all tied up in front of a firing squad.

As they are about to shoot the brunette yells "Tornado! Tornado!" All of the men run off to wait the tornado out and the brunette manages to escape.

Seeing what she had done the red head devises her own plan and when they return she yells "Earthquake! Earthquake!" Again all of the men scatter to wait it out and the red head escapes.

The blonde, being the genius she is, devises her own plan. As soon as the men return she yells "Fire! Fire!"

Joke: Two cows are eating grass in a meadow. One cow asks the other "I've heard Mad Cow Disease has been going around. You worried?"

The other one says "Why should I be? I'm a purple trapezoid."