Funny Jokes

Joke: A kid asks his dad, "What does gay mean?"

His dad replies, "It means happy."

The kid asks, "Are you gay dad?"

The father replies, "No, son. I'm married."

Joke: Three swordsmen are competing to see who is the best in the world. The judges tell the first man to step up and they release a fly. With the flick of his wrist the fly hits the ground in two pieces. The crowd bursts into applause.

Next the judges tell the second man to step up and they release a fly. With two flicks of his wrist the fly hits the ground in four pieces. The crowd explodes in applause.

Finally, they tell the third swordsman to step up and release a fly. He swings wildly at the fly but the fly continues to buzz. The crowd begins to laugh and a judge informs him, "The fly is still alive..."

The man replies, "Yes, but he will never have kids again."

Joke: What do you call it when Batman leaves church early?

Joke: A man and his wife are pulled over by a police officer. The officer walks up to the man's window and says "Sir you were going 60 in a 45."

The man says "I was only going 55!"

His wife hits him in the arm and says "No, you were going 65." He gives her a very dirty look.

The officer continues "I'm also going to have to give you a ticket for a broken taillight."

The man says "Broken taillight? I had no idea."

His wife hits him in the arm again and says "What? I've been telling you to get it fixed for weeks."

The man yells "Will you be quiet?"

The officer looks at his wife and asks "Mam, does he always talk to you that way?"

The mans wife shrugs and says "Only when he drinks."

Joke: The manager of a factory is looking to make the factory more cost efficient. He calls all of his employees to the floor and tells them, "The first man to come up with a great way for us to save money will get $5,000."

A man in front quickly raises his hand. The manager asks him, "That was quick, what's your idea Tom?"

Tom swiftly replies, "Make it $2,000?"