Funny Jokes

Joke: A man is going ice fishing. He drills a hole in the ice and hears a booming voice, "There's no fish in there!"

He begins to drill another hole and again hears the voice, "Stop drilling, there's no fish there!"

He drills a third hole and the voice sounds again, "You aren't going to find any fish there!"

The fisherman, frightened, asks, "Is this God?"

The booming voice yells back, "No! I'm the rink manager!"

Joke: Thomas has been feeling sick lately so he goes to his doctor. After he receives his check-up his doctor calls him in "Tom, I've got some bad for you..."

Tom quickly asks "What is it?!"

The doctor tells him "You have about twelve to live."

Thomas waits a moment and asks "Twelve what? Years? Months? Weeks?"

The doctor continues "Eight! Seven! Six!..."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Britney Spears!
Knock knock!
... Who's there?
Oops I did it again!

Joke: What's the difference between hard and light?

Joke: How does a farmer address a turkey problem?