Funny Jokes

Joke: Tom walks into his boss' office and tells him, "Sir, I know things are going the best around here but I have three companies that have contacted me recently. I would like a raise."

His boss agrees and after debating the amount for a while they agree on a 5 percent raise. When Tom gets up to leave his boss asks him, "What companies contacted you?"

Tom smiles and says, "The cable, electric, and water company."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Mayonnaise!
Mayonnaise who?
Mayonnaise a lot of people in here!

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Rufus!
Rufus who?
The roof! The roof! The Rufus on fire!

Joke: Why does Waldo wear stripes?

Joke: Three elderly ladies are discussing their mental health. The first lady says, "Today I was at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember if I had just gone up or was about to go down."

The second lady says, "I was sitting at the edge of my bed and I couldn't remember if I was about to sleep or just woke up."

The final lady says, "My memory is as good as ever, knock on wood." With this she hits the table twice. Suddenly she is startled and looks up, "Who's there?"