Funny Jokes

Joke: It's Paige's birthday and she has been waiting for her gift from her boyfriend Trevor for months. All he told her was "I got you something that will change your life. It can go from 0 to 200 in a few seconds!"

When it finally comes time for Paige to open her gifts she notices Trevor only had a small gift box in front of him. She eagerly opens it wondering if it is something for her shiny new sports car. She looks at it and says "This can't go from 0 to 200 in a few seconds?"

Trevor replies "It's a scale, just step on it."

Joke: What's a computer's favorite key on the keyboard?

Joke: Two consonants and a vowel walk into a bar...

Joke: Can a ninja throw a ninja star?

Joke: A woman goes to the veterinarian with her pig that appears to be sleeping. The woman waits as the vet inspects the pig. Then the vet comes out and tells the woman, "I'm sorry... But your pig is dead."

The woman, shocked, yells at the vet, "Are you serious?! Did you run tests? He could just be in a coma or something."

The vet sighs and heads back to here office with the woman. The vet leaves the room and returns with a dog. The dog approaches the pig and slowly sniffs him from head to toe. He looks up at the woman with sad eyes and walks out.

The vet leaves and returns with a cat. The cat approaches the pig and stares at him for a solid 5 minutes. It then meows loudly and slowly exits the room.

The vet tells the woman, "See, your pig has definitely passed on." The vet walks to the register and hands the woman a bill for $300.

The woman is again outraged, "$300 just so you could tell me my little piggy died?"

The vet replies, "It was only $40 until you made me get a Lab Report and a Cat Scan."